Yes, I don't drink. No, I don't think it's weird.

We sat down in the restaurant and promptly handed our Groupon voucher over to the girl.

"Do you know what the voucher includes?"

"Um, sort of"

"Well it's 3 courses from the A La Carte menu and a glass of Prosecco each"

"Oh right, well can I swap my glass of Prosecco for a diet coke instead please [raises hand] non-drinking driver here"

"Oh, um, right [turns to Gordon] unless you want both glasses of Proescco because a diet coke is only £1.50?"

"No, that's fine, we'll have a diet coke instead please"

Off tootles the girl. But she returned less than 30 seconds later.

"I just thought you know, if you want I could do you a half glass of Prosecco and top it up with fresh orange since you're driving?"

"No that's fine, I don't drink anyway"

"Oh [slightly baffled look], okay then".

This look has been flashed my way so many times I've lost count. I realise it's quite an alien concept for a lot of people in the UK to grasp, but I don't drink. It's not something I just decided one day, I'm not a recovering alcoholic and it has nothing to do with driving. I - just - don't - drink. End of story. I don't like the taste of alcohol, I don't like the effect it has on me and frankly I don't see the point. I'd rather have a cup of tea, and frequently ask for one in pubs much to the be[a]musement of the staff.

I used to drink. In my late teen years I had the typical binges at concerts and drank to fit in with friends, but as a few years went by and I realised how little I enjoyed it during the process and how horrendously flat I felt the day after it I began to wonder what the point was in continuing if I really didn't enjoy it. What's the point in allowing yourself to partake in something you dislike just because everyone else is doing it? That's called 'peer pressure' and it's not just an issue with kids.

Far from feeling like an outcast for not partaking, I'm actually just amused at the reactions from people who just can't seem to fathom it. For me, not liking the taste of alcohol is no different to me not liking the taste of raw olives or not liking the taste of coffee, yet I don't get bizarre looks for disliking those things (although the fact that I like olive flavoured things and coffee flavoured things does baffle even me at times).

I hate to use the term 'society' because I feel it gets used as an excuse for a lot of negatives, so maybe I'll use the term 'culture' instead. So it's a sad fact of contemporary British 'culture' that alcohol is so freely available and so regularly consumed and abused by so many people who are probably just trying to keep up with the Jones'. When you think about it, if alcohol was a recent discovery the government would probably make it illegal because of the cost implication in terms of damage to public health and public property. It's a nice little earner for the government in taxes though isn't it.

That's more my soapbox viewpoint, but in truth I would never chastise anyone for drinking as long as they don't treat me as a weirdo for not drinking. I mean, is it really that strange? So many people can't grasp the 'yes but no' concept - yes I don't drink, but no - there's no big reason for it'.

Gordon got this at work once when he'd taken in a tub of salad and some fruit for his lunch - "you on a diet or something?". What? Just because he's eating fruit? Idiot.